Suffering the effects of too much sleep.

This morning I awoke at 5:16 a.m. As I type this, it is now 7:02 a.m., an hour at which I try never to willingly be awake, unless it is pre-slumber.

I have to confess that I may have buried the lead in my post a few weeks ago — I alluded to some earth-shattering news I had received just before I was to go out of town for the weekend. Well, I was laid off from a job I’d held for two days shy of 7 months. In truth it was a relief, since it was just not the right fit … an absolute square peg in round hole. But, it’s the first time I have ever left a job not of my own volition: clean out your desk, hand in your badge, leave when you’re done, the whole bit.

It’s been a rough past four years in our workforce, so I know my story isn’t unique or special. I also understand that it had nothing to do with me personally or my performance — the cuts are wide and deep for everyone. But the immediacy of such a turn of events … arriving at work expecting to spend your day/week/month/year a certain way … to have that yanked from you is quite jarring. On the plus side, it was clearly a “meant to be” for me — I wasn’t happy spending 40 hours of my week or life that way, and my family obviously needed me over the ensuing weeks. Now that drama has cleared, and I’m staring at an unknown, yet wide open, future. What in the world do I want to be when I grow up?

(If you figure it out, let me know?)
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Who do you think you are?

So I’ll totally confess that I read with great interest The Hollywood Reporter’s “Inside Kardashian Inc.” article this morning. Ever since the O.J. trial, I’ve been fascinated with Kris Jenner — outside of flaunting opportunism, chasing celebrity, valuing fame-for-no-reason and everything else I can’t stand, you have to admit that she’s built an empire and runs it with charm and savvy. Underneath it all, she also seems genuinely attached to and concerned about her kids … a real mom.

That’s actually apropos of nothing except to tell you about a quote in the article. Kris Jenner took some advice from Kathie Lee Gifford’s father as her personal motto: “Find out what you love to do in your life and then figure out a way to get paid for it.

Hmph.

I’ve been on a journey for the last three years trying to find out what I actually love to do, all the while questioning and exploring my skills, talents, training and education and trying to leave myself open to new paths. I come from a generation stuck between X and Y — we don’t expect to be handed something for nothing, but we also need to work with passion and purpose. I haven’t found mine yet, or at least I haven’t found a way to get paid for it.
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My new hero.

Oprah’s new network, OWN, has been on the airwaves for only 72 hours, and I think I’ve watched about 60 of those. That has much more to do with the lack of post-holiday primetime programming or my lack of interest in clearing my DVR than any groundbreaking television from Oprah. But I did catch the new episode of Master Class with Diane Sawyer. She’s my new hero.

Photo source: Oprah.com

I’ve never really followed Diane Sawyer, but I’ve felt a kinship with her through journalism. I admire strong, intelligent women who are well-spoken and accomplished in their careers. Plus, she always seems so polished, genuine and nice. I also really enjoyed her series on Appalachia a few years ago. You can see in that how real she is and how much she legitimately likes and cares about people. She has a zest for life, humor, curiosity about the world and love of words that I identify with but also envy. Keep reading »